First , I am unsure how this works , what ought to I ask , or not ask , so , I am sorry if I am doing it fallacious .
This ” thing ” is consuming me alive , and has been for to lengthy .
So , I will actually recognize if somebody might help me .
Again in 2011 , I used to be in Walmart retailer getting few issues . I used to be in hurry , trigger it was getting late and I used to be afraid to stroll again residence in darkish . I got here to retailer principally trigger I wanted couple extra cardboard packing containers to complete packing , and since I used to be in retailer I obtained few extra issues ( milk , cookies , some snacks , and so forth.) .
I used to be checking out at self examine line .
I used to be making an attempt to scan field , however barcode was to far to scan , so I requested for help from cashier . She was checking the display , and advised me that I have to manually enter the code twice , for I informed her that I attempted each bins . She’s like ” Just enter 2 , for two boxes , so you don’t have to do another box whole entering ” . I did that , completed scanning , paid , put issues in my backpack , and on the exit grabbed each bins from cart , and proceed leaving . I used to be approaching road once I heard somebody calling ” miss , miss ..” .
At first I did not concentrate , however it appeared just like the voice was nearer to me , so I rotated , and I’ve seen to individuals waving to me , and asking to cease . I yelled again that I am in hurry , and what they want . They stated , simply wait , and I stated , I am sorry however I need to go . At that time police automotive , which I did not observed even coming , crossed my approach , stopped , police officer got here out , round automotive , gabbed me and pushed towards automotive .
As God is my witness , I did not know what is going on on . He was pushing me so arduous whereas he was placing on handcuffs , that I began to cry ,asking him , please , cease , you are hurting me . What’s happening , why do you doing this . At which level he begin laughing , and folks that have been behind me , additionally strategy us . Police officer then requested them what I did ? They advised him that I did not pay for one cardboard field . (All my stuff was already on the bottom when police officer grabbed me , he additionally grabbed my backpack from my again and throw it on the bottom , and I consider I simply let bins out of my arms when he was handcuffed me .). He replied that he knew as quickly as he noticed me that I should have been stealing . They stated , they’re safety , and that they want me to return to retailer . I used to be nonetheless crying trigger I used to be in ache . I informed them that I did not steal something they usually can verify receipt . Certainly one of them stated that they did not see me scanning two packing containers , only one . And they’ll examine receipt as soon as we get to retailer .
I informed them , please , it is getting darkish and I’ve to go house . After which officer pushed me even more durable saying ” You think you’re going home ? That “b… not gonna occur so quickly . And as soon as that occurs , you’ll inform your Bosnian those that they’re in America , they usually cannot do what they doing . And I do know b…. that you simply did not steal field , you stole all this issues you will have with you .” Then he said to security people that they can take everything from backpack , and boxes , cause he’s sure I stole everything . I wasn’t feeling well , I asked security guard to help me .
They were just standing there . I was bagging them to help , cause I don’t feel good . Officer pushed his elbow against my back and I just fainted . I remember screaming at that point . I remember security telling officer that they can take it from there , they just need me to go back to store and clear things up . I remember being so scared , I thought I’ll pass out , from fear . I remember , even now , at this very moment , like reliving it , officer telling them to take things and let him take care of me . By that time , I was still on the ground , he’s foot on my back , pain in my arms , face , legs , chest , head , against ground . I remember , I said , please , please let me go , it’s hurting , please I’m not feeling well .
I felt my seizure coming and I was so scared , as always when I know that I’m about to have seizure . After that moment , everything is like nightmare , horrible , never forgetting nightmare . I have recollection , pieces of memory , pause , horrific realization that is not just nightmare of past , of things happen in past , but reality , happening there and then , where and when I believed in safety . I remember there was ambulance , voices , someone saying ” You will be okay ” , ” Are you able to inform me your identify ” , I was trying , but like most of the time after seizure I can hear , I can see , but I can’t respond , and I don’t remember when exactly started or ended . I remember being in hospital , hospital staff , it’s blurry . It’s so …I don’t know , I don’t know to this day , gap between hospital and being back in police car , like someone snapped fingers and I woke up in that car , with that officer , short of breath , scared to death , asking for my inhalers . He laughing , saying really , really , you gonna try pull that up on me . You b…. , you stupid b…. .
I know I asked where he’s taking me , for it was long , long ride . And he saying to the place where I , and ” my individuals ” belong . Then blank again , then I’m someplace , prison , jail . He’s there , standing ,telling me to take of my clothes . I’m holding my head with my hands , asking not to take my hijab . He pulled it of my head , throw on the floor , stepping on it and making motion like turning off cigarette . Once he pulled my hijab , I cried out loud . At that time two or three female police officers come to me , looking at him , asking what he thinks he is doing . Why is he there , what he did to me . I remember asking for my hijab back . I remember they asking him to leave , saying that he did enough . He telling them not to listen to me . Then again , blank , gap , I don’t know .
Then doctor saying , ” You will have to attend , she’s to weak , and coronary heart beating is like 150 ” . I don’t know where I was or for how long , till I remember camera snapshot . Then someone saying you can go ,and in disbelief confused , I’m saying , go where ? Go home.. but I don’t know where I am . They told me , and I was like where is my home , how do I get there . You can get bus , or cab . I have no idea what’s going on . I just wished to die . They gave me phone and keys , and I asked for the rest of my things , they said that’s all that officer who brought me gave them . They closed door .. cold … scary.. I was in , I think waiting room . I was looking at my phone , time that was showing confused me even more . Who can I call , I don’t have anyone , beside doctors , case workers in my contact list .
Case worker , Janet , she’s my only hope , beside God . I called her …may God bless her , she answered , I heard ” Ada?, Ada , is that you simply? ” I was crying . “Ada , please , inform me the place are you , what occurred ” . I told her that I have some paperwork that has address on , and I told her what lady officer told me when I asked her where I am . She said she’ll be there as soon as possible , cause she lives like an hour from there but she’s coming and she asked me to calm down cause she said I can get seizure or so , so please try to calm down , she said .
I promised her that I will . I was so cold , shaking , weak . It seemed forever till Jannet showed up . I was so happy to see her . She hugged me and took me to her car , her son was there . She said not to worry , just try to calm down , everything will be fine . She told me to try to lay my head down , cause , she said it will help me relax , and heat will help too . She covered me with something and told her son to turn heat on. We got to my home , she told me she’ll take me in and put me in bed , to rest , and well talk in the morning .
We talked next day , everything end up , at least on their part , they did everything . I also did complain against officer that arrested me , cause I also went to clinic next day cause my hand was injured when officer had me on the ground , like the worst criminal .
And , still , years later , I’m having nightmares , I never recovered from that horrible experience . It was , and still is fsomething that will hunt me till my last breath .And what’s worse , and my reason for writing this , I just recently find .mugshot of myself from that night , mugshot taken for something so unjust , so unfair , so unbelievable . And it’s there where anyone can see it , and think of me being criminal cause Walmart security thought I didn’t pay cardboard box , never bothered to check my receipt , allow police officer to assault me in front of them , took my things , that they knew was pad for , which make them thief , they stole from me , cause one officer told them that he believed I stole everything , no matter that they knew for sure that’s not truth .
For years I was afraid of police , all of them in uniform , instead feeling safe , because of action of one I was afraid of all And in case I needed help I was afraid to look for help from them . Years later I got courage to go with my case worker to Walmart to try retrieve my property . When I told them why I’m there , people I spoke to , manager at that time , and assistant , they said that they can’t believe something like that happened in Walmart , that Walmart staff allowed it , and took my stuff , but they can only apologise , get me gift card for reimbursement , and welcome me back to store . Also , if I need assistance while I’m in store , someone will always help me . I was , I’m not sure , such a mixture of feelings , angry , upset , irritated , in disbelief , how can they think it’s so simple .
Oh , yeah , they said there was big change in whole Walmart , staff that used to work at the time is no longer working for Walmart , so they can’t do nothing about action they did . I told them that I don’t won’t their gift cards , I wanted my things , for they took not just what I purchased but also what I had in my backpack when I come to stor . My case manager told me , at least to take gift cards , but I refused . Pain is still here , and fear that people actually believe I’m a recognized me .
How can I help myself . I have paperwork that everything is dismissed but mugshot still exist . Are things like this something that happened a lot , people getting arrested just cause police officer believe what he wants to believe, and decides to do what he wants , and with no question asked have someone’s mugshot just like that ?
Does people really get mugshot and let go with no further action ?
Thank you ,
Sincerely , ” Wanting Justice ”
P.S. I apologize if is unclear what I am making an attempt to say in all this writing , nonetheless inflicting harm even fascinated by that occasion ( I am going to name it even )